So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
