so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
