its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
