chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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