508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
