Ambien. No doubt about it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize