Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize