My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
