Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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