Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
