It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
