soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
