life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
