I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
