I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
