between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
