he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
