it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
