Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
