how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
