SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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