Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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