is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
