Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize