she woke up with a sticky ear
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
