Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my phone needs a breathalizer
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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