Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
