My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
