the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
