I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
