If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
