If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
