i just had sex bonerless
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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