Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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