I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
