I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
