And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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