Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
