I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
