Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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