i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
