Im at strip club and am horny
I can tuck mytits in my pants
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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