we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
