Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
