D3 body, D1 cock
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
