WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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