my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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