k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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