Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
