We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
