I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
