wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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