Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
