He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Are we in a gay sports bar?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
