he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
