Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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