the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
