The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
