We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
