I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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